A Time to Dance

When I was 18 I had my first major heartbreak.

I’d gone off to college and while living in the dorms I met a guy. I actually didn’t like him at first. I thought he was a little strange and I wasn’t attracted to him. But we started running into each other a lot and we became friends. He started paying special attention to me - lots of phone calls, texts, Starbucks runs, surprise visits to my room and deep, late night conversations.

One night I watched a movie with him on the black futon in his dorm room. We were all snuggled up and I pretended that I was falling asleep. I wasn’t asleep though because I was too elated to be spending time with him. He started running his fingers around my face and sweeping my hair away from my forehead. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I felt like he adored me.

I fell hard for him. I wanted to be with him all the time and when something significant happened he was the one I wanted to tell first.

I don’t think I was in love with him but I was definitely on my way there.

And then, out of the blue, he backed way off. I didn’t hear from him at all for nearly two weeks. He asked me to come over to his room one night and told me we needed to talk. And it was over.

At first I felt kind of numb.

It didn’t feel real.

The next day I went to eat breakfast and I tried to hold it together. Then I came back to my room. I shut the door and collapsed against it. I slid to the ground and began sobbing uncontrollably.  

I had never experienced that kind of pain. 

I spent the remainder of my freshmen year in college deeply depressed. I tried hard to move forward but I got stuck inside this awful rut. I would see him talking to other girls, in the cafeteria eating lunch and in class. I wanted to forget about what had happened and heal but he was always around. Every time I saw his face it reminded me of what had happened between us. I tried to stop having feelings for him but I never succeeded and it left me feeling powerless. I lost a ton of weight and cried myself to sleep most nights.

I remember one of the first things that made me feel better.

Over winter break, I was visiting family and friends in my hometown. One night I went out dancing with my friend Kathy. We went swing dancing at a country bar and I had a ridiculously good time. I think that’s the night I fell in love with dancing. It set me free from the pain, frustration, anger and depression I’d been facing. That one night didn’t completely heal my broken heart but it was a huge step forward. It got me out of the deep, muddy rut I’d been stuck in for quite some time – even if it was just for a couple of hours.

I’m so thankful that I discovered my passion for dancing. When I’m feeling anxious, uncertain, frustrated or trapped – dancing makes me feel free.

There are many more reasons I love to dance but this is one.

Have you ever experienced a time in life where you discovered a passion that helped you get out of a rut? I’d love to hear your story!